SPRINGVALE, Maine – A peer group for significant others of all categories of first responders from across York County – police, fire and EMS, dispatchers, corrections, and emergency managers – begins a new season Feb. 23 in Springvale.
It will be the third year for Homefront, formerly known as Behind the Line. Meetings are held on the last Sunday of each month and are designed to provide support and education to navigate the lifestyle and challenges that come with being married or in a relationship with a first responder.
Jill Belleard, of the trio leading the group, said the education and support is tailored to encourage a healthy relationship between the first responder and the significant other.
The no-cost monthly meetings are not gripe sessions, note Belleard, Kristi Carr and Abi Brown. Instead, there are discussions about communication, finances, gratitude, compassion fatigue and more. There’s a game night scheduled, and a trail walk, and lots of good, helpful conversation.
The three leaders and those who attend talk about coping when family plans get skewed because of unexpected work requirements, raising children when their first responder is working long hours and unavailable, couples working opposite shifts, or when their first responder has had a particularly grim day. They talk about the times when the significant other’s own challenging day takes a back seat. And there is the worry factor: worry that their loved one will be injured, or worse.
Sometimes, a first responder can become cynical and there can be burnout.
“If you don’t cope, you become resentful,” said Brown. “How do we make this (relationship) work?”
At the peer group, the three bring suggestions and more.
Belleard is a Springvale counselor and Brown, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner. Both are married to law enforcement officers.
“We put resources out there for the significant other and the first responder,” said Belleard, who is certified in first responder mental health and post-traumatic stress treatment.
Sometimes, significant others and spouses have demanding careers of their own – and that can play into the family dynamic.
“Balance and appreciation on both ends is very important,” Brown said.
The peer group began in 2023 after Belleard attended a wellness conference and heard a presentation by Carr, who was talking about support for spouses of first responders.
“My husband was in a critical incident, and I thought it was time (for spouses) to come together for debriefing,” said Carr, an area bookkeeper who is married to a law enforcement officer. She has conducted considerable research into how being a first responder plays into family dynamics. “I read a lot and I’m a big one on offering grace,” said Carr, whose niche is faith and finances – and the latter she noted, often plays a role in family strife. “I love seeing marriages thrive.”
There are hundreds of first responders across the county, employed by its 29 municipalities and by York County government. Many are married or in relationships.
“Resiliency and mental health is a concern, not just for the firefighter, dispatcher, police officer, EMT, emergency manager or corrections officer, but for their families too,” said York County Fire Administrator Roger Hooper, who said he is looking to incorporate resources for all into the new York County First Responder Training Center, currently under construction.
Over the past two years, the Homefront peer group has attracted 8-10 people at each meeting, the three organizers say, but twice as many can be accommodated.
“It’s easy to feel lonely, forgotten and misunderstood,” said Belleard of significant others and first responders alike. “There are resources. We’re building that community to help significant others be resilient.”
Meetings are at 6 p.m. on the last Sunday of each month at Able Oak Mental Health, 469 Main St., (Heritage Place) Suite 201, Springvale. The driveway and parking lot off Main Street serves that building and the more visible Alumni Hall. People are invited to drop by, and confidentiality is respected.
For more information, contact Jill at: behindtheline.jill@gmail.com.
